I think we as a community police the language of the trans mascs online. Especially on tiktok and instagram where a lot of users talk to the algorithm. I think the thought occured when one of my trans fem friends got mad at the term transandrophobia. which i didn't really know the uses so i looked on wikipedia and talked to some men. The page had three names for discrimination against transgender men. one of the terms anti-transmasculinity and transmisandry. I think a lot of the times feminists see misandry as not real because we are looking at the structure of patriarchy. but i find in isolated incedent from things i've seen and heard that sexist women who hate men do exists. Even if it's reactionary it has meaningful psychological impact. My mother used to hit me but she doesn't anymore so don't be weird about it. I think before I transition it did make me afraid of women on some level. Now that I am a woman I find the notion of being afraid of others for that to be absurd in retrospect.
some people would say that something like people dressing more fem or masc isn't necessarily gender but trendy fashion. I can understand that POV, but the way fashiong trends are decided are very gendered. So while wearing a skirt won't turn a femboy into a girl, the fact that the item of clothing is categorized as fem is gendered. The skirt is inanimate it doesn't think about or have gender. I've heard femboys get upset about other men calling it a kilt to them in passing. I totally get that. It does misgender your intent with the article of clothes.
I feel like when I'm treated as a woman it can come with a duality of misogyny and gender euphoria and maybe some dysphoria depending on the vibes of the encounter. Like are they really gonna talk to a chick like that?
I guess I mean are they gonna disrespect me like that just for my gender? me a stranger? just where do they get off. I'll feel ragebaited in public.
but i don't feel like debating debate perverts anymore. so i just say stuff like "women can't walk outside anymore?" sometimes i'll generalize like
just today i felt targeted with the question "is building PCs becky behavior? like what does that even mean? women can't use computers anymore? I just felt like sure maybe people can be annoying with their special interest but is really a crime? I guess I have heard friends call certain activities wealth sinks. But it was reasonably afordable to have a job and a computer. for many of us computers got us jobs. our phones are computers and libraries have free computers. I still hate AI tho. I feel like it's a device taht summarizes google with iffy accuracy, and otherwise enables confirmation bias and binary thinking.
I feel like even the "gender is a spectrum" crowd to be a bit too binary. Like they see the ends of the spectrum as two extremes but I feel like nonbinary genders tell us that gender can be more dynamic and complex then simply calling things boyish or girlish all the time.
I think even being a femboy you can experience trans misogyny. Like you're putting in the effort for being a boy, your gender. Then a gender essentialist "errm actually"s your gender. It's gotta be annoying.
as a trans woman I feel like people who feel some shame about having sex with me do so with the optics that i'm closer to a boy so it's not like i have to be vulnerable like I would with a woman. but it's just kinda both trans misogynistic and homophobic. Like instead of cheating on your nonexistant future wife why don't you commit to something?
so i think that same transphobic logic can be used against anyone who dresses femme even if they are not a girl or woman. I feel like I read so many posts about how hard it is for trans men who do sex work and for cis gay men too. I think in a homophobic way society feminizes queer men against their wills.
and so as a trans woman when they want to degender me and call me a man or treat me as disposable I just can't really think anything but the scene in Weekend (a gay movie about a weekend hook up) where the guy says "what would it make you feel too gay?" so like yeah i kinda get disappointed after sex where the guy cries about whether or not he's gay
but it's not true I may be on hrt for 9 years but there are women before me I still learn from. But I also fee like if I don't read any feminist books or books in general I risk being a hack as a writer. So I kinda force it onto myself to learn something on my own. and I try to encourage baby trans to define gender or womanhood on their own. I really hate speaking in definite terms.
Even if there are studies that say a percentage of detransitioners later retransition. I still feel no reason to hate.
it could be that maybe the individual is nonbinary, bigender, agender, gender fluid etc. I don't that if hormones don't work out for you that it's okay to just move on to whatever does.
Because what are trans rights but the ability to change?
and if a detransitioner retransitions then should we shame them for "being wrong?" I put that in quotes because I don't believe there is any right or wrong way to be trans or queer.
maybe they want you to fear thinking bad thoughts so they let the AI think for you? I guess I rather you ask a trans woman like me for help over an AI for perspective on gender.
but don't ask too many questions I'm a busy woman, I am not your personal assistant or baby sitter.
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